Attendance Going Down? We've Got An Idea, or 10

Look familiar?

Opening Day, the grandest day of the year, and the BOB still had open seats at first pitch. With the new higher payroll, the front office needs to get those butts in the seats, and at, we've come up with ten suggestions to help those flagging attendance numbers.

Adopt Franz Ferdinand’s hit single “Take Me Out” as the Diamondbacks’ starting rotation’s theme song.


With the new pool design (by the entertainingly named WE FIX UGLY POOLS), add a new contest.  Any time the Diamondbacks give up a ‘pool shot’ homer, pick a fan of the opposing team (when those fans can’t be found, always revert to a Yankees fan) and allow two randomly chosen fans to toss the opposing team’s fan into the pool, fully clothed (when it’s a Yankees fan, weights on the ankles are optional).


In an effort to generate fan support, and keep costs down, start a car pool program for the inevitable minor league callups.  Anyone willing to drive the minor leaguer from Tucson to Phoenix gets two free tickets to the minor leaguer’s first game.  If the minor leaguer is coming from Double-A Tennessee, and can still find a ride, the fan gets tickets to an entire home stand (no plane rides).


While Taco Bell has long given away a free taco for every double digit run game, change things up a bit.  For every pitching change the Diamondbacks make, fans get the ‘The Pitching Change Chalupa” deal, with discounted chalupas (limit 10 per game).


Any fan who can correctly identify all the members of the Diamondbacks 40 man roster simply from pictures gets a ball signed by each player, if you can identify all the signatures you win tickets to the game.


In honor of all the switch hitters on the roster this season (six of the 14 position players on the roster hit from both sides of the plate) run a promotion for the ‘alternative lifestyle’ community, and change the uniforms to a slightly tighter style of pants.


Since Spring Training has been so successful in Arizona, prompting as many as three more teams to convert from the Florida market to Arizona in the next three years, perhaps the Diamondbacks should have a rotating home field, playing home stands at Tempe Diablo Stadium, the Peoria Sports Complex, Scottsdale Stadium, Ho Ho Kam Park, as well as Bank One, and all the other parks in the area.  Another positive to this concept is the fact that even if only 20,000 show up, for most of the stadiums, the park will still ‘seem’ full.


Host a ‘fair weather fan night’ where regardless of temperature, humidity, rain, tornados, sand storms, or forest fires season ticket holders get to nominate a friend of theirs who was a ‘HUGE D’Backs fan’ in 2001 and now is a Cubs/Giants/Mets/Red Sox/etc fan, and those fans are forced to sit in the park, roof open, from first pitch to the inevitable extra inning finale.  Suggested date:  August 23rd.


To coincide with the newly anointed ‘G-Force’ of Luis Gonzalez, Shawn Green, and Troy Glaus, put a roller coaster in the roof of Bank One Ball Park.  The best part of the roller coaster is that the farther and faster the D’Backs fall out of first place in the NL West, the farther and faster the roller coaster will go.


Just win damn it.

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